Wednesday, May 30, 2012

two years, ago.

I was flipping through my journal this morning and I stopped, and I started reading through my journal entries from when I was on my mini mission. I came across May 30, 2010. Exactly two years ago. I had been serving for about a month and a half.

I'm going to start this by saying I loved my time in Cuernavaca, Mexico. I was 19 and all my guy friends were leaving on missions and I left right along with them to get a little taste of what it is like. I served the people of Cuatla with my whole heart and I loved them. I only remember one day during my two months there that I was super upset, and this was the day. May 30, 2010. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had been completely humbled. I remember coming home after a long day; it was one of those days when a bunch of your appointments fall through, I had been eaten alive by bugs through my itchy tights, and it was probably over 100 degrees.

I went into our closet sat down and just started crying. I started my journal entry with, "I'm just going to complain for as many pages as it takes so that I get over this." I complained about me not being able to communicate because my Spanish wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. I complained about the water and the bugs and how people would always talk about my hair or my eyes, and just the dumbest things. I wrote about all of the things I was missing- my family, and everything at home, like my sister PR'ing in her track meet, and about my friends and how I was upset about how they were making dumb decisions. And I wrote about a bunch of other things that were just really upsetting me.

I ended the entry with, "I honestly think this is an amazing experience, I'm just upset. Heavenly Father, please help me tomorrow, and for the rest of my time here."

I've started taking notes in church, and this past week, was all about overcoming trials and forgiveness. Something I wrote down that really stuck with me, was that Christ has been through it all, and he can help us with it all, we just need to turn to him. And although I might pray everyday, sometimes we just need to really be humbled and realize that we can't do it alone. I know I've quoted this before, but it's one of my favorite quotes! It's from President Hickley, and it says, "If Life Gets Too Hard To Stand, Kneel." 

Lately I've been in an odd mood. So when I was reading through this it really hit home. Just like the game chutes and ladders, our path isn't always going to be up. Everyone struggles with different things. Everyone has different circumstances. We are given trials for a reason and the Lord is always there for us, we just need to turn to him. 

Reading through my journal entries, I was reminded of what an amazing experience a mission is. I am truly amazed by the people I met and taught, and about the miracles I experienced.

I don't think I could ever find the words to describe how much my time in Mexico means to me. It makes me so grateful for the missionaries who go and serve for a full 2 years. How incredible. I learned so much on my mission about myself, about the world, and about the gospel. 

PS.   May 31, 2010, the very next day, "wow, today was the best day of my whole mission and it's exactly what I needed." Prayer answered? :) 

1 comment:

  1. i love love love that you did this. so great. makes me so happy to read this. you really are an amazing girl.